High School kids can be so nasty In a cut-throat world for popularity

Yeah its a bit late to be posting this now but who cares?

MCR ruled! I loved the show so much, and you know what made the whole standing in the rain for 6 hours worthwhile? MSI were there too!

Here are some pics;

We were that far away but managed to get up nearer as the concert went on!

Can you believe these are the most focused pics of MSI I could get?

All three of the members that made it to Belfast!

I am most proud of this one!

I have loads more pics but I cant fit them on here!

Yeah, its been a while huh?

Well my computer decided to get realllly messed up and my buzznet stopped functioning but I think everything is A-OK now! Whoot! So did ya miss me?

Well the past two weeks of school have been like....

BLAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean I haven't been able to write all that much, but I have been hanging out with my friends, who I love soooooooooo much!!! And Saturday was the most specialest person I have ever met's birthday too, love ya Katie! And so we went to Laser Quest!

I fucking loved it!!!!

Running around in a neon lit room shooting people you don't know...

Can life get any better?

Well I am working on more updates for you my lovelies and thats all for now!!!

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Oh and btw if anyone went on Emma's page they may find a hilarious video of what happpens when we all have sugar.....

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

I updated when I said!

Sydney's head snapped up and a weak smile played against her lips when she saw her dad.

"Oh Dad..." Sydney sighed, tears steadily falling from her eyes as she took in his blue eyes, grey hair and warm smile.

She them stood up and ran over to him, hugging him for dear life.

"I'm so sorry Daddy!" She cried into his shoulder, actually being held by him once again for the first time in 8 years, I've completely messed up our family."

"No Sydney...you've done nothing of the sort!" He soothed, his husky voice calming her down instantly.

"C'mon Dad... I almost bankrupted you! I fucking stole money from you and I had to get you to bail me out of jail after Liam got me into drugs and I was caught with a dealer!" Sydney finally burst out yelling, walking away.

"Sydney, yes you did all those things. But no matter what you're still our daughter." He smiled, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I still can't believe you can actually be around me...Mum hates me for all she is worht, and she has a right too...but I swear I'll spend forever trying to repay you two." Sydney said, firmly.

"You really don't have too, but I really appreciate the thought." He answered, and Sydney smiled and looked at her watch.

"I'm sorry Dad! But it is almost 5.30pm, I have to go." Sydney said, quickly and then she practically ran from under the bridge and made her way home.

-x-

As Sydney walked down the garden path of Gareth's parents' house, she heard somone yelling at the top of their voice. Growing anxious and curious, she reached out for the door handle and quickly let herself into the house.

"-YOU'RE SO BLIND!" Mrs Darby yelled and then all fell silent, the only sound left was Erin crying.

Sydney quickly walked into the living room, which was where the voice was coming from, and she was shocked at the sight. Gareth's mother was standing over Gareth, glaring angrily at him. Gareth himself was sitting on the couch, head in hands and Erin was sitting by the wall of the living room, beside the couch, hands over her ears.

"Erin? Why is she crying?" Sydney asked, and Gareth's mother swiftly picked up Erin and walked out the room.

"How long?" Gareth asked, without looking up at Sydney.

"How long for what?" Sydney asked, unsure of what he was talking about.

"How long have you been a fucking prostitute?"

Yes, yes, I have been M.I.A on this story, but look I am posting a story!!!!

Chapter 21

"C'mon honey...wake up please..." A voice called softly to Sydney and she felt someone stroke her cheek.

"What time is it?" Sydney groaned, rolling onto her front, burying her sleep self even deep into the pillow.

"Its 8am, everyone else is still asleep, but Erin, she is downstairs watching cartoons." Gareth said, and Sydney felt the bed tip to one side as he sat down, so Sydney turned her head and saw Gareth smiling down at her.

"Hey good looking." He smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Awh!" Sydney groaned, as he straightened up.

"What?" Gareth asked.

"You completely missed!" Sydney smirked, sitting up too, gently kissing Gareth on the lips.

"I'm so sorry, next time I'll remember to do that!" He smiled, standing up, he was already dressed, "Ok, get dressed and I'll make you a coffee."

"I need to see my parents." Sydney groaned, as she slid out from under the covers, walking to the cupboard.

"You really don't have too." Gareth sighed, walking up behind her, and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I highly doubt that your Mother hasn't not told my parents that I am back. I need to see them, the last time I spoke to my dad I was 16." Sydney sniffed, tears trickling from her icy blue eyes.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Gareth asked, wiping away the tears on her cheek, delicately with his thumb.

"No thank you. Spend time with Erin and her grandparents, I know I shoudln't intrude on family time." Sydney smiled smally, and Gareth spun her around.

"You're family to me and Erin. Fuck the other two!" Gareth smirked, and Sydney laughed lightly, and then lightly kissed Gareth.

"Go and keep Erin company." Sydney said, hugging Gareth quickly.

-x-

"So Erin and I are going to the Zoo with my parents, if you need to ring me I'll have my mobile." Gareth said, as Sydney pulled on a grey winter coat.

"Don't worry Gareth, I won't need to call you." Sydney smiled, pulling on a black wooly hat, and then walked to the front door.

"Ok, so I'll see you back here...5-ish?" Gareth asked, placing a hand on her cheek

"Yeah, I love you." Sydney said, grasping the door handle.

"I love you too." He answered with no hesitation, kissing her tenderly, lightly tracing his fingers on her cheek, making her smile brightly, and she pulled away to see Gareth's mother standing on the staircase behind him, just glaring harshly at the two of them.

"Bye love." Gareth smiled, and Sydney walked swiftly out the door, bracing the cold winter wind.

- x -

Glancing up at the grey clouded sky, she crossed her arms tighter around her body, containing the little body heat she had left, her skater shoes hit the icy pavement with care. Sydney racked her brain to think of anything but what she was about to face. The only thought that plauged her mind, well screamed at her was,

"TURN BACK NOW!"

But she couldn't.

Her feet wouldn't listen to a word she said, or thought really, and she carried on walking at the same steady pace, until she was eventually standing in front of the old brick house, neat green, grass garden, with tidy flower beds at the doorway. Slowly, she walked up the garden path, until she was finally standing in front of the door of her first home. Bringing her hand up she rapped her knuckles on the door, pain running through her hand due to the coldness, and only a few seconds later the door itself flung open and Sydney was once again faced with her mother. Before Sydney could utter one word, her mother brought her hand up and slapped Sydney forcefully across the face.

"How dare you come back to this house! Do you realise how much fucking pain you've caused me and your father? We had to work so hard after you and your boyfriend Liam made that big mess! Never, ever, come here again!" Her mother screamed shrilly, her icy blue eyes looking dead straight at Sydney.

Taking in a deep breath, she slammed the door in Sydney's face, while Sydney herself just stared hard at the black stained wood, taking in long breaths, and she shakily turned on her heel and quickly left the house. Trudging down the street, she'd reached the end of it quickly and took a turn down a tree covered footpath, the crisp leaves crunching under her feet, when the sound of trickling water met her ears, and she soon came across a bridge that was 12 feet above a small river. She made her way to a slope beside the bridge, leadinf to the river, and climbed carefully down it to the bank of the river, and walked under the bridge and then collapsed onto a big rock.

The last time she'd come here was with Sam and Gareth a year before she left, this had been their place, they'd borught all sorts to it over the years.

"Honey?"

**Expect the second part later on toight or tomorrow!**

***Sorry for spelling mistakes, cant be bothered checking!***

Right okay so I was tagged by lovely Rachspoon!!!! ((Sister - in -laws forever!!!!!!!!!!!))

My eight random facts:

1)) I love going to musicals

2))Westlife was my first concert experience

3)) I still haven't finished Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.

4)) I ran into a parked car and knocked myself out when i was 3

5)) I am overly sensitive

6)) I make the most random sandiwches

7)) I don't give fuck what people think when I run around town yelling with my best friends

8)) One of my heros is Gerard Way.....

And I am now going to tag: newxjerseyxhearts, flick89, staceface, fobluva4eva, fairyxwithxfangs, burymeandfadetoblack, thex0xlibertine, vampirepixie. 

Chapter 20

Sydney let her tears flow freely as she curled up under her blankets.

This is what Gareth’s parents had reduced her too, with all their intruding questions and snide remarks.

“Where do you live?...That part of London!!! It’s so unfit; I remember reading about all these junkies and prostitutes in your area.”

“In between jobs? How do you live a proper life?”

“Just like I was saying to your mother the other day… such a waste to run off like that. No respectful person would do that.”

“Wow…you look awfully sick, better fatten you up, you’re too scrawny and pale.”

Every comment had come from Gareth’s mother, straight across the dinner table. Gareth always had his hand placed in Sydney’s firmly for silent support, he’d never be able to stand up to his mother without being shot down himself.

Turning onto her stomach, the only thing now on her mind was Gareth, the only right thing going on in her life. Letting out a yawn, she closed her sore eyes, drying her cheeks on the pillow, trying in a desperate attempt to fall asleep.

***

Sydney opened her eyes quickly, and then she sat up even quicker. The sound of her bedroom door opening caught her attention, and she let a smile show across her face.

“Gareth.” She whispered, as his silhouette darted towards her bed and he crawled in beside her, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist, pulling her close to his bare chest.

“Why are you here?” Sydney whispered, shifting her head to look at his dark figure.

“To once again apologise for my Mother’s behaviour.” Gareth sighed, burying his head in her black hair.

“You aren’t the one who should be apologising.” Sydney pointed out.

“I know…but… I feel terrible about it…” Gareth whispered, sorrowfully.

“I know…I love you.” Sydney whispered, closing her heavy eyes.

“I love you too.” Gareth answered, kissing her forehead before sliding down in the bed, hugging her even closer.

***

Curled up on an alleyway floor, rain pounding down hard. The clothes she wore were soaked straight through to her shivering body. They wouldn’t do much sheltering anyway, the jeans had rips all up and down them, the grey hoodie she was wearing was thin and her shoes were barely holding together.

Sydney clutched her arms close to her body in a desperate attempt to keep warm. This was where that son of a bitch had gotten her.

The rain slowly subsided and stopped finally and Sydney stumbled to her feet, and slowly walked out the alleyway. It must have been about 1am, as no one was around apart from a few drunken men hoarded by an alleyway entrance.

Sydney pulled her hood down and ruffled her short, lank hair while walking. Her gaze then caught a pair of women standing on a street corner, laughing about something, both of them kept looking around at their surroundings, when a car pulled up along side them and one of the two women lent in and then a hand produced a wad of notes which she accepted and then got into the car, and drove it away.

“You interested in the business?”

Sydney turned her head and found the woman that was left walking up to her smirking.

“What? No-“

“Same.” The women cut across her, “Such a pretty face. From the looks of it, do you have a house? Or even a job?”

“Well…No…” Sydney sighed.

“I know….a great guy that could get you started in this business.” The woman suggested and Sydney almost broke down when she realised that she had no other choice.

“I’m Sydney.” She introduced.

“Chantelle. Now follow me.”

***

Sydney’s eyes opened sharply, her breathing ragged, sweating profusely.

“Too bad that wasn’t just a nightmare…” Sydney thought sadly, as she turned in Gareth’s grip, curling up to his chest, as if he could make all her problems just disappear by simply holding her.

((Sorry I know it has been like forever but here it is chapter 19!!!))

((Oh! And dont forget to check out my quizilla page!!  Link on another journal.))

Chapter 19

“Oh God…” Sydney groaned, gripping Gareth’s hand tightly, as they walked away from his car, and up to his parent’s front door.

“It’ll be fine.” Gareth mumbled in her ear, and then kissed her cheek lightly, and then he bent down to Erin, who was holding his other hand, “Go and ring the doorbell honey.”

“Okay Dad!” Erin smiled, running to the door, down the little garden path, and rung the doorbell beside the luminous with door.

The door opened slowly, and a well aged woman stood there. She had brown hair with grey wisps entwined in the tight curls. She had Gareth’s eyes and they both shared a few facial features. Her face creased into a large smile as Erin hugged her tightly.

“Hey my darling!” She smiled, and she looked up and her happy face faltered as her eyes landed on Sydney, “Erin, go say Hi to Granddad Darby.”

 As Erin ran past her, she looked at Sydney, studying her. Sydney herself could not feel any lower than she already was.

“Hey Mum.” Gareth smiled, dropping Sydney’s hand and hugging his mother who smiled back at Gareth, hugging him and he pulled away, grabbing Sydney’s hand, pulling her up to his Mother.

“Mum…you remember Sydney.” Gareth said, somewhat strained.

“It’s nice to see you again Mrs Darby.” Sydney smiled politely.

“Yeah…ok. Gareth, take your cases upstairs, dinner is almost ready. Erin will be sleeping in your father and mine’s room, you’ll be sleeping in your room, and Sydney,” Mrs Darby spoke, practically spitting out Sydney’s name, “Will be in Jason’s room.”

“Wait! Sydney is staying with me.” Gareth said defensively, linking his hand with Sydney’s, who didn’t say one word.

“Not under my roof.”  Was the only thing that Mrs Darby said, before walking away into the house.

Sydney looked up at Gareth, her blue eyes just filled with hurt. She then sharply pulled her hand from his, and walked to the car that they’d driven up in, opening the trunk.

“Syddie…” Gareth sighed, running his hand through his brown hair, walking up to her, trying to wrap his arms comfortingly around her waist, but she brushed him away.

“Better for you to go inside and catch up with your parents.” Sydney spoke coldly, hauling three suitcases out of the car, groaning slightly from the weight.

“Here, please let-“

“No Gareth.” Sydney cut across him, “I have it. Just go. Please.”

Sydney heard Gareth let out a long sigh, and he finally retreated into the house, leaving Sydney standing there, holding back tears.

“Gareth’s family hate me like my own…I fucking don’t need this bullshit.” Sydney murmured to herself.

***

Sydney was unpacking the few clothes she had into the empty cupboards of Jason’s old room. Just being in this room made her smile, so many golden memories were embedded between these four small walls. Glancing at the old computer she allowed herself to let out a small laugh. She had just remembered the time she walked into the room and found Jason and Gareth looking up Porn Sites, and once they’d noticed her, both had tackled her to the ground, tickling her to make her swear she’d never tell their parents what they were doing.

“Syddie?”

Sydney didn’t turn away from the cupboard, where she was hanging up her T-Shirts, she knew who it was.

“Syddie…please look at me.” Gareth pleaded, but Sydney ignored him, but jumped when she felt Gareth wrap his arms around her waist, but she pulled away turning to face him.

“I don’t know why I cam here…” Sydney finally admitted, a tear running down her cheek.

Gareth wiped the tear away with his thumb, and he then took her hand, pulling her to the bed, and he sat down, pulling her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her, as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Ignore what my Mum says, please. And plus, if you hadn’t come, I’d have spent this whole week by myself with her trying to flatten and part my hair.” Gareth groaned, and Sydney laughed.

“Let me fix that.” She sighed, smiling, running her fingers softly through his hair, messing it all up.

“Thank you, but seriously. Sydney, I love you, and I don’t care what my Mum or Dad say, I know we’re meant to be.” Gareth smiled, sweetly, “Forever.”

“Meant to be? Forever?  You want to marry me?” Sydney asked, shocked.

“…Someday yes.” Gareth answered with complete honesty.

“Let’s just see how things turn out.” Sydney said, before leaning down and kissing him softly, only to be pulled closer, Gareth biting her bottom lip softly, making her open her mouth slightly, his tongue sliding in, gliding over hers lightly.

Sydney pushed him down on the bed, running her hand up his shirt, trying to tug it up, but he suddenly grabbed her wrist, and Sydney pulled away, confused.

“I really want too, but, just not on my brother’s bed or with my parents in the house.”

“Oh…” Sydney nodded, sitting up, “We’d better go downstairs…”

“You ready?” Gareth asked, taking her hand.

Whoooooot

New story time!!!!!

But I am not posting it on here.

I am posting it on Quizilla my new account!!!

xmoonlightXdisastersx

http://www.quizilla.com/users/xmoonlightXdisastersx/

Go there for the first two chapters.

I will also be continuing my story, Even After The Darkest Night... on here so dont worry

Ok...new story plans!!!!

It is going to be a MCR fanfic..... sorta......

The main character is called May

And she is Bob's daughter in the story

So I'm gonna wirte a story about the difficulties and all the stuff that will arouse

What do you all think??

Chapter 18

It had been two whole weeks since that special night between both Gareth and Sydney, and Gareth broke up with Madeline the day after, yet it wasn’t the smoothest break up in History.

***

“Last night was perfect. Just what I’ve wanted for years.” Gareth sighed quietly in Sydney’s ear, as he and Sydney were curled up on his couch, Erin watching T.V on the floor.

“Erm…Gareth? Have you broken up with Madeline yet?” Sydney asked, nervously, tracing small circles in his t-shirt.

“Not yet…I haven’t been able to get in contact with her.” Gareth mumbled, and Sydney groaned, “But I will okay?”

“…Alright…” Sydney sighed, and Gareth kissed the top of her head and Sydney looked up at Gareth and he kissed her softly, pulling her close to his self, and Sydney laughed quietly into the kiss, confusing Gareth.

“What?” Gareth asked, pulling away, and Sydney pulled his hand away from her side.

“You’re tickling me!” She smirked, and Gareth raised his eyebrows.

“Remind you of something?” He asked, before Sydney pressed her lips firmly against his, but pulled away as Erin was in the room, and then rested her head lightly on his chest when they heard the front door slam, and they pulled away, and Madeline walked into the living room.

“Hey honey!” She smiled, leaning down and kissing Gareth deeply, but he pulled away sharply.

“Madeline, we need to talk. Come with me.” He sighed, and then walked out the room, Madeline following.

“Erm…Erin. I think you should go play in your room.” Sydney said, quickly, and Erin nodded obediently and walked out the room, and suddenly she could hear Madeline scream,

“You fucking bastard! I’m going to kill that slut!”

Sydney stood up, scared slightly, and Madeline bursted into the living room, glaring at Sydney.

“You fucking slut! Since Day 1 you’ve been all over him! You have ruined everything!” She yelled, and slapped her forcefully, so Sydney fell back onto the couch, tears glistening in her eyes, as she clutched her cheek.

And then Madeline pushed past Gareth who’d watched the whole thing, and he immediately fell beside Sydney, caressing her sore cheek, comforting her.

“Well that would’ve gone better…” Sydney laughed, as the stinging sensation subsided and Gareth smiled sadly.

“Well…that should hopefully be the worst thing that’ll happen to us…”

***

Sydney was sitting on Erin’s bed, brushing her golden locks, and she finished, setting down the brush, and then hugged Erin from behind.

“Okay honey, get into bed. Time to go to sleep!” Sydney announced, and then she stood up from the bed and let Erin curl under covers.

“Can you get my daddy?” Erin asked, as Sydney tucked her in.

“Of course I will, hang on.” Sydney smiled, straightening up.

“Sydney?” Erin called, once she reached the door.

“Yes?” Sydney replied, turning, hand on the light switch,

“Are you my new mummy?” Erin asked, innocently, and Sydney sighed.

“No sweetie…but I’m here for you ok?” Sydney explained, and Erin nodded, so Sydney switched off the light and closed the door a little, so the hallway light streamed in.

Sydney walked down the hall and into the living room, where Gareth sat watching The News.

“She wants you to say good night.” Sydney said, falling beside him and Gareth jumped up, walking out the room.

As Sydney sat there, she contemplated what Erin asked her.

Was she really making that effect on Erin’s life?

Does Gareth even see Sydney like a mother for Erin?

They had only been going out for a couple of weeks, but they’ve been friends for so long they may as well be in a 7 month relationship as it is.

Gareth walked in and sat stiffly beside Sydney and a serious look etched across his face and Sydney sighed.

“She asked you too huh?” She said, quietly, as Gareth put his arm round her shoulders.

“Yeah…I don’t know what to say…” Gareth answered, and Sydney looked up at him.

“I know I’ll never, ever, replace Erin’s real mother, but I am here for her. No matter what happens between us.” Sydney explained and Gareth kissed her lightly.

“I love you.” He smiled.

“I love you too.” She replied, snuggling her head closer to his chest, and he sighed again, “What?”

“My parents found out about us, and want to meet you again…”

“Meaning…we got back to Newburg?” Sydney asked, apprehensively.

“Yeah…we don’t have to you know.” Gareth said, quickly.

“No…I loved too…as long as you’re thee beside me.” Sydney whispered, terrified of what lay ahead of her.

Chapter 17

“Would you like a drink?” Gareth asked, after hanging up Leanne’s long black, winter coat, and then he ushered Leanne into his living room.

“I’m fine thank you; I’m just here for Sydney.” Leanne spoke, brushing her plum hair from her eyes, sitting down on the couch and Gareth sat beside her.

“Why has Sydney been avoiding me?” Gareth asked.

“She’s been avoiding everyone…right now she is sitting in her apartment, downing a bottle of vodka and a pill box.” Leanne started.

“Why…?”Gareth asked, his heart yearning to comfort her, to hold her in his arms.

“You have no idea how much she has been through…after Sam’s death and Liam finding her…it had just pushed her over the edge.” Leanne explained.

“Why didn’t she come to me?” Gareth asked, hurt.

“She doesn’t want to bring you into this.” Leanne sighed.

“Is that why…you’re here? To tell me all of this?” Gareth asked.

“Well…last time Sydney fell into this state she kept a diary of how bad she felt after every dose. I was reading through it and I found this entry, you may want to read.” Leanne explained, opening the small diary at a certain page, and then said, “I’ll show myself out.”

Leanne walked out the living room, leaving a shocked Gareth as he stared wide-eyed at the page.

***

“Where the fuck is it?” Sydney groaned, searching all over the couch, sliding her hands in between the cushions.

It had been 5 hours since Sydney had ran out the living room and collapsed in her bedroom, and Sydney had finally emerged from her room in search for her diary, but couldn’t find it anywhere.

An urgent banging at the door shook Sydney from her worry, and she looked at herself fleetingly. She was a complete mess, her hair was greasy, and she was wearing an old hoodie and pyjama bottoms, the same pair from 4 days ago. Shrugging, she walked out the living room and hoped the person at the door was Leanne with her diary. Sydney grasped the door handle and pulled her front door open and her eyes widened in shock at the sight of Gareth standing there.

Before she could say anything, Gareth stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing her deeply, pushing her back into his apartment, closing the door with his foot. He then pulled away slowly and rested his forehead on Sydney’s and smiled down at her.

“Why did you do that?” Sydney asked in barely a whisper, smiling in spite of herself.

“Well…” Gareth breathed, running his fingers up the back of her neck and tangled them in her hair, “I wanted to show you that I love you, and have loved you forever and nothing can change that.”

“I’ve been waiting to hear that for a long time.” Sydney sighed, curling her arms around his neck.

“You and me both.” Gareth spoke, before kissing her forcefully again, picking her up, off the ground, and Sydney secured her legs around his waist as Gareth walked into the apartment.

***

Sydney’s eyes fluttered open as a bright stream of sunlight hit her face, blinding her eyes and a groan escaped her lips as she clenched them shut, and buried her head deeper into the pillow, but she then froze at movement behind her, and an arm tightening around her waist.

Slowly she rolled around and faced a slumbering Gareth and her face broke into a big smile at the memory of last night. She curled closer to him, hugging herself towards his bare chest, and she felt Gareth’s arm secure around her back and pull her in closer and began to kiss her neck softly.

“Hey…” He mumbled into her neck sleepily.

“Hey to you too.” She smiled, but then sighed and pulled away, and sat up holding the quilt to her body, “We really need to talk.”

“I know.” He nodded, sitting up.

“How did last night come around?” Sydney asked, looking at him.

“Well last night, your friend Leanne paid me a visit.” Gareth started.

“What? She-” Sydney started, but Gareth took her hand.

“Let me finish.” He sighed, and Sydney nodded.

“She explained to me about how you were and that the only time you’ve felt like that was when you first moved here…and then she showed me this.” Gareth explained and then lent over the bed looking around the floor but came up, looking slightly embarrassed at Sydney.

“Where are my jeans?” He asked and Sydney smiled, looking around the room and then pointed at her dresser on the other end of the room, where they were lying on top, after being thrown there the night before.

“Ah…” He smirked, and then grabbed the pair of boxers lying on the floor beside him and pulled them on and then jumped out of the bed and walked to his trousers.

Sydney lent over her side of the bed and picked up Gareth’s T-shirt and slipped it on as Gareth sat beside her, but her eyes widened when she saw what was in his hands.

“My diary…” Sydney whispered, tears rising up, “How much had he read?”

“Shoosh…” Gareth sighed, putting his arm around her, pulling her close, “I didn’t read all of it. Only the entry Leanne showed me.” He finished, passing her the open book and Sydney read aloud.

‘24^th of August 2004”

“Woke up this morning lying in a tangle of bed sheets. I felt like my throat was on fire and my head pounding terribly. I sat up slowly, but immediately I threw up over the side of my bed.

I hate this.

I’d give anything to be back in my old room, wrapped in my own quilt.

And do you know what?

I miss Gareth and Sam so much. I should’ve listened to them and I’d never be here. As I sit here writing this, I noticed something, how much I love the both of them. Sam was always there but Gareth…if only I’d stayed with him that day he kissed me. I wouldn’t be in this mess for one thing and I’ll probably never get to say this to him so,

I love you Gareth.

Sydney finished and looked up at Gareth, who had been hugging her closer to him with every word, and she smiled at him.

“I do love you Gareth.” Sydney smiled brightly.

“And I love you Syddie.” Gareth sighed happily, and then kissed her softly, running his hand down her bare back, and back up again, playing with her long black hair.

“Eugh…” Sydney groaned, pulling away, “I need to take a shower…badly.”

“Well I need to pick Erin up from her babysitter’s in like hour. I dropped her off there last night.” Gareth said, resting his head on hers.

“Then join me!” Sydney smirked, grabbing Gareth’s hand and pulled him out of the bed, and then the room.

Chapter 16

Big fat tears rolled down Sydney’s flushed cheeks and falling onto the pages of the old diary she was reading. It had been one week since the day Liam had caught up with her, and Jason had left London to go back to Newburg the day after that, and Sydney had once again been left with the ‘happy couple’ , so it hadn’t been the best time.

Sydney had began to resort to her old routine when she moved to London in the first year, lying on her couch in the dark, clutching a cigarette and a bottle of Vodka. With so many thoughts of Newburg, Jason, Sam and Gareth and everything she’d given up for that bastard Liam, made her go back to barely living, resorting to her old ways of drowning her pain.

She leant over the side of her couch and opened the drawer of a table beside the couch, and she then pulled out a small tub and began to open it with trembling fingers and poured out to large blue pills, and passed them between her quivering lips and downed them with her Vodka, and began to read the diary again, but her thoughts were disrupted by a loud knocking.

“Sydney! I know you’re in there! Open this fucking door!” Leanne yelled through the door, but Sydney ignored her, taking another drag of her cigarette then stubbing it out on the wall behind her and dropped it in the ash tray. Leanne would twig soon enough.

Sydney heard Leanne bang continuously on the front door until she finally tried the door handle and opened the front door.

“Sydney! Where the fuck have you been all week? You’ve not returned any of my – “ Leanne yelled, but stopped short when she walked into the living room and saw Sydney crying on the couch, clutching her bottle like a life support.

“Leanne…why am I so messed up?” Sydney asked quietly, looking up at Leanne sadly.

“Awh hun! You’re not messed up!” Leanne sighed, falling beside Sydney, taking the vodka bottle away and setting it down, and then Sydney collapsed in her arms.

“I am…everyone is coming back form my past…I can’t take this anymore! I want everyone to leave me alone…” Sydney cried, “I can’t tell anyone about my life of when I first arrived, I’m looked down enough already!”

“Ssh…calm down…” Leanne soothed, stroking her hair comfortingly.

“I can’t calm down! I am a fucking prostitute! I’ve barely any money…Gareth…well there’s nothing between us… Sam always said we’d end up together…” Sydney sniffed, clutching her diary, which Leanne spotted.

“No Sydney…you haven’t….” Leanne stuttered, her eyes on the diary.

“...Only anti-depressants.” Sydney mumbled, flicking through the pages, “I can’t ever go back to that…not with Gareth back in my life.”

“Why are you reading it?” Leanne asked, concerned.

“Well…I was reading it to remind me how messed up I was when I was on drugs…trying to refrain myself from going back to that…to these…” Sydney sighed, rolling up her sleeve of her hoodie up and traced the pock mark scars going up and down her arm.

“I’m always here for you.” Leanne soothed, “Just don’t fall back like that.”

“I kno-” Sydney started, but the ringing of her phone.

“Syddie…its Gareth…it’s been a while…” Gareth started but Sydney bursted into tears and ran from the room leaving Leanne sitting on the couch, Sydney’s diary lying beside her.

***

Leanne rapped her knuckles angrily on the door, clutching the small diary in her hands. The door flung open and she was faced with a confused looking Gareth.

“Hello? Who are you and why are you standing here at 7 in the evening?” He asked.

“I am Leanne Reid…Sydney’s best friend.” She seethed, glaring at him.

“Oh, come in please…” Gareth said quickly, and Leanne walked into the apartment and then once she turned to face Gareth she slapped him, hard.

“What was that for?!” Gareth asked, shocked, his hand rising to his glowing cheek.

“That…was for what you’ve done to Sydney.” Leanne said, angrily.

“Please…explain.” Gareth begged, desperate for an answer.

Right firstly.....

I AM 15 YEARS OLD WHOOT!

xD

Next.... all today I was at the Zoo! The Zoo fucking rocks and whoever bad mouths the Zoo is a fucktard! Here are some pictures I took.... I will post the rest in the gallery

Chapter 15

“Are you really ok?” Gareth asked for the millionth time, as he, Sydney and Jason sat in his living room.

Erin was in her room, and Madeline had left to meet up with, as she put it, her ‘gal pals’, but not before displaying her affection for Gareth in front of Sydney.

“Gareth I’m fine!” Sydney laughed, putting his hand so he’d stop pacing in front of her and sit beside her on the couch as Jason sat on the armchair.

“Well you do know that Jason and I would kick his ass if he ever hurt you again.” Gareth sighed, putting an arm around her shoulders.

“Yes I know, and thank you, both of you.” Sydney smiled brightly, looking at each to them, and Jason suddenly burst out laughing.

“What…”  Gareth asked, confused.

“Just remembering that time ages ago with that bully James in primary school!” Jason laughed, as Sydney and Gareth joined with him in remembering.

*18 Years Ago* ((Jason is 8, Sam and Gareth are 7, and Sydney is 6))

“Syddie?  Why’re you crying?” Gareth asked, as he, Sam and Jason looked up from the video game they were all playing.

The three of them looked over at the doorway to see Sydney standing in the living room doorway, tears spilling down her cheeks. Her pink T-Shirt was covered in mud, as were her white shorts, her knees were scratched up and bleeding, and a cut was bleeding on her chin and her hair bunches were pulled and messed up, and she was holding a headless Barbie doll.

“James…pushed me over…and ripped up my Barbie doll!” Sydney said, in between sobs, and then Jason stood up and took her hand softly, pulling her into the kitchen and cleaned up her cuts and scraps, while Gareth and Sam sat beside her.

“Why did he do this?” Sam asked, taking her hand.

“Well…James asked if I wanted to play with him because he ‘liked me’, so I stood up from my swing in the park and he asked if he could see my doll so he took it from me and started to play roughly with it, and then he pulled the head off her, and once he threw her body away he pushed me over and ran away!” Sydney cried, throwing her Barbie doll across the room.

“Come on.” Jason said, annoyed, taking Sydney’s hand and pulling her up, and then he turned around and Sydney smiled, as she knew he was giving her a piggy-back ride, so she happily jumped on his back.

“Where are we going?” Sydney asked, as they walked out the house.

“The park.” Sam smirked, “Is that alright?”

“Sydney nodded furiously, clinging tightly to Jason as they walked the few houses to the park and into it, past the round-a-bout, climbing frames but then Jason placed Sydney on a swing, when they walked past them.

“Gareth…will you stay…and play with Sydney?” Jason asked, and he nodded, as Sam and Jason walked towards the wooden play apparatus, seeing James sitting on top of it, laughing at Sydney.

“Gareth? What are they doing?” Sydney asked, as Gareth pushed her on the swing.

“Making sure you’re not hurt again.” Gareth smiled.

***

“I remember that you three got into so much trouble for beating James into a pulp.” Sydney smiled, resting her head on Gareth’s shoulder.

“And we’d still do it now!” Jason spoke and Sydney nodded, but then stood up.

“I really should get going.” Sydney sighed, “I’ll call you tonight Gareth. Jason, will you give me a ride home?”

“Sure.” He nodded, standing up and Sydney hugged Gareth goodbye and then walked out the apartment with Jason.

Chapter 14

Sydney was quickly dragged behind some bushes, completely unnoticed by Erin, Gareth and Madeline. Sydney was then roughly thrown to the ground, and when she looked up her mouth dropped in shock.

“Liam…” She whispered, gazing up at her ex-boyfriend, who hadn’t seen in 4 years.

“Leave me would you? Finally found you…” He snarled, his dark blonde hair a mess, his face looked tired, and he then knelt beside her.

“Why are you here…you’ve fucking ruined my life!” Sydney growled, anger filling her.

“I’m taking you back!” He said, harshly, gripping her arm.

“No! Let go of me! Why would I want to stay with you…I have spent last 4 years running away from you!” Sydney yelled.

“I said, you’re coming with me.” Liam snarled, pulling out a long knife from his pocket, “One word and I’ll-“

But before he could continue Liam’s body crumpled to the ground, and a man was standing behind Liam, holding a big rock.

The man towered over Sydney’s quivering figure. He had sharp blue eyes that glinted with green when the light hit them, and he had dark brown almost black hair, which covered part of his right eye and was messed up at the back. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a grey worn hoodie and a dark denim jacket.

“Thought you needed help.” He smiled, kindness swimming across his face.

“Oh my god Jason!” Sydney squealed, jumping up from the ground and hugging him tightly, having to stand on her tip toes as he was real tall, “Thank you!”

“Hey Sydney…” He sighed, hugging her back, and he pulled away to look at her, “Who was that?”

“Liam.” Sydney spat, glaring at his unconscious figure, and Jason’s grip instantly around Sydney, he always hated him like Gareth and Sam had, Sydney was like a sister to him.

“Come on…Gareth is looking for you.” Jason said, quietly, and then took her hand pulled her through the bushes and to the swings, where Gareth ran straight for her and hugged her tightly.

“Where were you? Are you alright? What happened?” He asked, quickly, pulling away, looking deep into her eyes, and Sydney could see he was worried sick.

“Let’s just say that Liam Aiken is lying unconscious behind that bush.” Jason explained.

“Come on…” Gareth muttered, darkly, taking Sydney by her hand, making her smile smally.

“Where are Madeline and Erin?” Sydney asked, as they all walked out the park.

“In the car.” Gareth said, keeping a tight hold of Sydney while Jason walked beside them, “Erin started to cry when she saw you had disappeared, so she ran up to us and Jason had just arrived, so the two of us began looking as Madeline took Erin to the car.”

“Oh…so where are we going now?” Sydney asked.

“Back to my apartment.” Gareth said, and they’d reached the parking lot.

And once they reached his car, they could see Madeline resting on the boot of the car, and as soon as she saw Sydney she ran up to her and hugged, but instead of returning it, she made a face from Madeline’s sickly sweet perfume, and Madeline finally pulled away, giving Sydney the use of her arms again.

“Are you okay?” She asked, as she walked over to Gareth who put his arm around her waist.

“I’m fine…but I’ll go to Gareth house in Jason’s car because it seems Erin has fallen asleep.” Sydney pointed out, eternally grateful.

“Awh…my little Angel.” Gareth smiled, gazing in the back seat window, “Alright, we’ll see you there then.”

Sydney and Jason smiled and said goodbye, and then he led her to his own car and Sydney got in with a long sigh as Jason started the car.

“So you’ve obviously got the hots for my brother!” Jason laughed.

“We’ve haven’t seen each other for 8 years and that is what you want to talk about?” Sydney asked, smiling, Jason always went straight for the embarrassing stuff.

“Yes! I saw the look on your face when Madeline hugged you!”

“Well her perfume was fucking choking me to death… Gareth is way too good for her… why is he such a dumbass!”

“I agree that Gareth shouldn’t be with her. But anyway, how’ve you been, in all seriousness.” Jason asked.

Sydney paused, raking through her brain for an answer but decided that Jason was the one person she could tell most of the truth.

“Not good…” She sighed, giving in.

“Wanna talk about it?” He asked, taking her hand and she nodded.

“I’ve no job…no money…a shitty apartment that I can barely afford and… I’ve been addicted to drugs on and off and I don’t know whether or not they helped.” Sydney rambled, leaving out the prostitution part.

“You’re leaving something out.” Jason pointed out; he could always tell when Sydney didn’t want to talk.

“…I’d rather not talk about it.” Sydney sighed, as she saw they were at Gareth’s apartment block.

“But you promise to tell me?” Jason asked, serious laced in his tone.

“Yes… I promise.”  She nodded, kissing his cheek softly as a thank you, but she knew she’d never say.

I JUST HIT 4000 BUZZES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol..... thank you everyone!!!!

Right if you haven't already go on to Leanne's page ((thex0xlibertine))

Go on to her journals

And read the introduction of her new story!!!!!!!!!!!

It is fuckin Amazin

Its about Vampireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So read now!!!!!!!!

Chapter 13

“Lee… how can I face him after last night?” Sydney sighed, curling more under her blanket, taking a large drag from her cigarette, wiping eyeliner smudges from her face, and relaxing on her armchair.

“Awh honey…I’m sorry. I don’t know why he’d do that.” Leanne said, confused, sitting on the couch, in front of Sydney’s armchair.

“Yeah well…as soon as Maddie,” Sydney started, practically spitting out Madeline’s name like it was venom, “appeared, he ran off pretty quick.”

“Yeah…Sydney! For fucks sake, put out the cigarette please!” Leanne begged as Sydney took another deep breath and breathed out.

“I need these!” Sydney insisted, stubbing it out in the ash tray, and then lit another one.

“Right that’s it!” Leanne decided, standing up, walked over to Sydney and took the cigarette and stubbed it out and then took the packet of cigarettes and the lighter and threw them out the window of her 7^th storey apartment.

“Leanne! What the fuck!” Sydney yelled, running to the window.

“You’re quitting now!” Leanne demanded, and Sydney fell back into her chair when the phone rang out, “Shit, that’ll be him!”

“Let just see what he says.”

The message tone rang out with the usual beep and click and Gareth’s cheery voice filled the room.

“Hey Syddie, its me, Gareth-“

“And Maddie!”

“Maddie….” Sydney mimicked, spitefully, then let it carry on.

Yeah babe, shoosh! Anyway me and Madeline are taking Erin to the park today, so we were wondering if you wanted come? Oh and my older Brother, Jason, is coming. He’s up here in London visiting friends and he wants to see you again. Meet you at Broadler Park around 3pm ok.”

“You are so going!” Leanne laughed.

“No I am not! I can’t see Madeline; I’ll kill her on sight! But meeting with Jason would be so much fun.” Sydney smiled, thinking about Gareth’s goofy older brother.

“Well then go for Jason, and go for Erin, plus you need to clear up the stuff with Gareth.” Leanne said, drinking her coffee.

“Ok! I will! I’m gonna get dressed now, and then we’ll go.” Sydney decided.

“We?”

“Oh yeah. You’re gonna drive me there!” Sydney called, walking out the room.

“Thanks for asking!” Leanne yelled after her.

***

“You really need a car.” Leanne smirked, as they drove down the streets of London.

“I can barely afford my apartment; you think I can buy a car?” Sydney asked, the question dripping with sarcasm, “But seriously, do I look alright, I’m trying to show up Madeline, but not like the slut she is.”

Sydney was wearing a black long sleeved v-necked, T-shirt, and it had white stripes all over it, and also she was wearing skinny jeans, grey, with a tear in one knee. Her make up was light but darkened around the eyes, and her black hair was loosely curled.

“Brilliant….I so want to meet this Madeline and just slap her.” Leanne growled.

“You and me both!” Sydney laughed, and then looked in the back of Leanne’s car and gasped loudly, “My hoodie… THIEF!”

“…I kinda borrowed it…” Leanne said, sheepishly.

“I’m taking it back, plus it is kinda cold.” Sydney said, slipping on the white zip-up hoodie, and then zipped it up halfway of her stomach.

“Here we are! I’m coming around tonight to hear what is going to happen.” Leanne said, pulling up beside the curb and Sydney got out.

“Not tonight, I have to go…out tonight.” Sydney said, quietly.

“Oh, I’ll call you then.” Leanne sighed, “Bye.”

“See ya.” Sydney called and then walked into the park.

***

As Sydney walked past the gate’s main entrance and up to the fountain she saw a mass of blonde curls running at her from the big play apparatus.

“Syddie!” Erin squealed, running into Sydney’s arms and hugging her.

“Hey Erin! Where’s your Daddy?” Sydney asked, as she carried Erin back to the play-park, where Erin pointed to the benches beside the monkey bars.

“Syddie…why aren’t you my Daddy’s girlfriend anymore?” Erin asked innocently.

“What?” Sydney asked, blushing brightly, “I was never your Daddy’s girlfriend, and why? What is wrong with Madeline?”

“I don’t like her….she makes me call her Auntie Maddie…and she won’t play with me! I like you better.” Erin explained, hugging her self closer to Sydney, who was laughing quietly as she walked up to Gareth and Madeline.

“What’s so funny?” Madeline asked, and Erin looked pleadingly at Sydney.

“Erin just told me a joke.” Sydney smiled, and she saw Gareth looking at her upset, obviously thinking of the night before.

“Syddie-” Gareth began.

“Syddie…will you push me on the swings?” Erin cut in, not realising how grateful Sydney was.

“Yeah, of course!” Sydney said, quickly, and Erin squirmed out of Sydney’s hold and then grabbed her hand and pulled her to swings.

As Sydney pushed Erin higher and higher, who was squealing in delight making Sydney smile, her eyes kept drifting over to Gareth and Madeline. She had his arms around his neck and he was whispering in her ear, smirking, and whatever he said made Madeline kiss him softly.

“What I’d give to be her…” Sydney thought, when suddenly she was pulled back to reality when strong arms wrapped around her waist and a harsh voice whispered,

“Don’t move…”

Chapter 12

“God I hope I look alright…” Sydney sighed, looking over her reflection.

She’d eventually chosen a pair of grey skinny jeans with white stitching all up the sides and a white shirt with sleeves that reached halfway down her forearms and a black sweater vest that hugged her body, proudly showing off her curves. Turning away from the mirror she went over to her bed and she reached under her bed and pulled out the shoe box, and opened it. Sighing she pulled out a few notes, the money was wearing thin as she had just paid this month’s rent and a loan off fully.

“I need to get out again…” She sighed, and then put the money in her purse and walked out of her apartment, grabbing her black coat on the way.

“Hopefully something nice will happen.” Sydney sighed to herself as she walked out of her apartment building, it becoming all the more apparent of her feelings toward him.

***

Sydney pressed her finger on the doorbell and then waited for the door to open. It was suddenly flung open and Sydney was faced with a mirror her age but she looked like she was trying to look younger. She had peroxide blonde hair, bright blue eyes, her face was covered in make up and she was wearing a white mini skirt and a baby blue tank top with a thin grey cardigan over it, in spite of the winter weather.

“You must be Sydney.” She smiled, “I’m Madeline Gareth’s girlfriend.”

“Huh? Oh…” Sydney spoke, her heart falling, leaving her feeling empty, why didn’t he say anything?

“Come in! Gareth’s friend Sam is already here.” She said, ushering Sydney in, and led Sydney to the living room, where a guy with strawberry blonde hair, slightly long that went halfway down his neck, green eyes and a small smile playing on his face when he was Sydney.

“Hi, I’m Sam Johnans.” He introduced, standing up and greeting Sydney with a light handshake and then offered Sydney his seat, and once she sat down, instantly he sat beside her, and Sydney saw Madeline walk out the room.

“I’m Sydney Whiteson…” She said quietly.

“I know…Gareth has told me a lot about you.” Sam smiled.

“Really?” Sydney asked, while thinking, “Where the hell is Gareth?”

I see you two are getting along.” Madeline said, walking back into the room, a glass of red wine for Sydney, who took it gratefully.

“Where’s Gareth?” Sydney asked, looking around.

“I’m here, I’m here! Sorry…Erin is asleep now!” Gareth announced, appearing from the kitchen, and sat beside Madeline.

“Hey hum.” Madeline smiled, and kissed Gareth lightly, and Sydney just looked at her hands, maintaining the will to rip Madeline off of him.

“You never said you had a girlfriend.” Sydney spoke quietly, while thinking, “I was stupid to think he liked me…of course I’m just the best friend.”

“Oh…” Gareth mumbled, not looking at Sydney, going pink.

“Oh, you’ve never told Sydney about me? Well we’ve been going out for a full 3 weeks now.” Madeline explained, taking Gareth’s hand, and Sydney grimaced on the inside.

“Kill me now!”

***

That whole dinner had been painfully agonising, Madeline had been all over Gareth, saying how wonderful he is at cooking and what a wonderful father he is to Erin, and how wonderful their time spent together has been.

“Please, this woman has to have another word that wonderful in her thesaurus…” Sydney groaned in her head, as Madeline rolled of another wonderful story.

Sydney hadn’t said one word all night to her or Gareth, she just quietly ate and answered the questions Sam asked, he seemed to be really taken with her, but Sydney wasn’t interested.

“Right…it is getting late and I really should be going.” Sam said, as he stood from the couch where they were having coffee.

“Yeah, I should go too.” Sydney said, standing up quickly, in relief of finally leaving.

“It was nice to meet you Sydney.” Sam smiled, and then shook her hand lightly and kissed her cheek and left the apartment and it took everything in Sydney not to wipe her cheek.

“Thank you for inviting me over.” Sydney smiled, forcing it mostly at the couple, cuddling on the couch.

“That’s alright Syddie.” Gareth smiled, making Sydney feel better at the sound of her nickname.

“Awh! That’s like the nickname you gave me! Maddie…” Madeline simpered, and it took all of Sydney’s strength to keep herself from scratching her eyes out.

“Yeah…bye.” Sydney mumbled and then literally ran from the apartment, and swiftly to the elevator.

“Syddie!”

Sydney looked to her left and saw Gareth running down the hall, holding her coat, she smiled softly.

“Thanks.” She said, quietly, taking the coat from Gareth.

“Are you alright? You were really quiet tonight.” Gareth said concerned.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine.” Sydney shrugged, “Madeline is…nice.”

“Simple more like.”

Yeah…she’s fun.” Gareth said, looking at the ground, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Ok.” Sydney smiled as Gareth hugged her and kissed her cheek, but he slowly pulled away, looking deeply into her blue eyes.

Placing a hand on her cheek, he suddenly leaned in and kissed her deeply which Sydney quickly responded, wrapping her arms around his neck, as he pushed up against the elevator door, kissing her hungrily, as if he wanted nothing more.

Suddenly he pulled away from Sydney at the call of his name from Madeline.

“Gareth! There you are, come on; I gotta get up early for work.” She called and then walked off.

Gareth just looked at Sydney, eyes wide in shock at what had just happened and then ran off. Sydney brought a finger to lips that still tingled from the feel of his lips on hers and she let out a deep sigh, tears welling up.